If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
