What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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