Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
