The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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