East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
