she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
