All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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