I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize