I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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