just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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