i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
