she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
