instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Is it penis luge time yet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
