Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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