Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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