I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
