Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
