I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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