the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
