Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize