Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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