AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
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