I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize