He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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