dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
