i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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