Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
