wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
