Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
