Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
even my farts smell like vagina
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
