I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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