yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
