so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Boobs speak an international language.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
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