Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
