My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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