Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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