Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i love accidental penises.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
