So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize