Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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