Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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