Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
