that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
