That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
