Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
