You're my little dorito
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
