If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize