I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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