I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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