Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
...so i touched it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
