oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
