I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't deserve a penis
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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