do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
