hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
