I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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