So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
