Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize