Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
