I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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