he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
