Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
