quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
