Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
